I'm in the midst of one of the most difficult seasons of my adult life.  Have you been there?  Life is completely blessed, God is moving, I'm listening, and BAM.  The attack comes.  For me, the attack is relentless.  Without a break.  Forceful.  And purposed to throw me off course.  The grand scheme of my enemy has been forged.  Oh.....LORD, how I want to be released.  But in every moment of self-doubt, fear, and anxiety, I am learning to rely more heavily upon you.  I am reminded in Ephesians to "Stand" and again to "Stand Firm".  My feet are planted, now you just keep my body upright.  

I recently visited a cardiologist after being free from arrhythmias for 15 years.  I have some nuisances that I've lived with, that ultimately point to some other areas of concern.  All will be fine, and I believe God healed me many years ago.  But now, He's just showing Himself powerful enough to Heal Again!  I've got to be vigilant and purposeful in this endeavor, without being fearful.  I know where this road leads.  In utter dependence on God!  Oh, may I never have to relearn this one! 

In the same time period that I opened the counseling ministry, sought licensure for my profession, and began a full swing attempt to pursue what God had laid before me, God also began prompting Aaron to consider PhD programs.  He's done wonderfully well on his GMAT.  Had an awesome interview process with a university with lots of prestige.  And now is having to consider the "what if I get accepted" reality.  This adds a bit of stress.  One of the universities is 3 hours from home!!  Do you guys realize I live on a family farm with all three sets of grandparents within 10 miles?  With three babies (age 9, 5, and 2) I think I'd be nuts to leave this place.  Besides the fact that I'm in the home I grew up in, and where A and I have been for almost 12 years!  Not something I can just put on the market and ride off into the sunset!!  But oh Lord, if you'd be gracious enough to provide another way.......please give it!  Let the university in town accept Aaron.  Let it be.  I want your best......and will submit in every way to accept it.  But I'm still asking!!  Let it be a 20 minute drive, not 3 hours.  Please!!  And all of my licensure requirements, please don't let them go to waste.  I have a 3-year window of opportunity that has already opened.  If you're closing that endeavor, do it quickly!! 

Do you see my "tornado" that has engulfed?  Probably a good indication why the blog hasn't been updated in a while.  I've been a blubbering idiot in an emotionally dysfunctional state!  Ha......and I'm the counselor!  No, actually God is the counselor.  I just show up and say Hello.  He really has to do all the work. And by the progress being made by a few of my clients, God is awesome at this thing!  He really gets them, and He's doing things in their lives that I never dreamed possible. 

I know God is not the author of confusion.  So, I'm having to be careful in staying level headed.  Some things just don't make sense.  One thing I have reconciled is that God's call on my life is never dormant.  No matter where I am, and how I'm using it.....He's in the midst of making me who I am supposed to be.  Many of you know how difficult this has been for me.  But I'm always willing to take a detour, if it's HIS detour.  I prefer the roadsigns Lord.  Can you make them all neon green?   

Life is Difficult.  Seasons of Difficulty come.  But my God.....He always IS, WAS, and IS TO COME.  Life is not all about me.  It's about them.....the ones who need to know.  Those who need to hope in Jesus.  To believe.  And to stay hopeful.   May my eyes be opened........so that I may see.  And may I see something remarkably healing in the process.  Lord, I feel your grip. 

Blessings!