Laura's Life Lessons

Living My Life Lessons

2009-08-02T11:42:00Z

I cannot believe it's been so many months since I last logged onto the blog. I'm not sure if I'm out of words, or just out of time!

Thank you to all of you who have checked back for devotions or items of interest. I know I have completely failed at my attempts to be more consistent. I have stacks of journals to remind me of the same, but I'm choosing to see this season of life as "well lived".

I hope you will excuse me for a while. When God prompts the return of Laura's Life Lessons, I will reappear!

A young woman's dream...

2009-06-01T02:29:00Z

Waking up and being 34 years old is not exactly a dream you have as a younger woman!

But this life I live is somewhat of a dream...the One I forgot about until it was almost too late.

A few of my friends have similar stories. You know the kind. "Yeah, one day it would be awesome if...." and your life makes all these twists and turns before you have time to check the roadmap. But something along the road I was on, caught up with some Truth I had stashed away in my heart......and became my Reality!

As a 20 year old young woman, who was living the less than desirable 'life of making decision for the first time in a grown up world', it's fair to say I made some mistakes. Actually, those mistakes cost me greatly and I wasn't sure there was a way out of them at times. But there in the midst of my rapid fire breakout into adulthood, I met my husband. Aaron and I share some memories that I'm not certain anyone else from those early days would remember. There were gorgeous city night scenes from atop a hill in downtown, sunsets over the ocean, sunrise in the mountains, and row crops growing in the summer heat near the AR and TX border. My first trip to TX by car proved to be an experience. "Are we there yet?" kept coming to mind!!

In so many ways, God was providing a rescue. For both of us, I might add! I found myself leaving behind many of my bad decisions and waking up for the first time......actually dreaming! Realizing these dreams had a possibility to them. Something of sustenance that would keep the flame from dying. It was during this time that I accepted the reality of God's gift in loving another person. I'm not sure I had ever really loved before. Yes, I loved my family growing up. But not in the giving kind of love that is required in marriage. So....we figured it out one step at a time, and find ourselves happily on the eve of our twelfth anniversary. My, how the time has flown.

In those early years, a simple dream existed. It began when I was nearly sixteen. I wanted to do something with my life that made a difference. I was raised in a Christian home and church family, so I knew all about going down front and rededicating your life to Christ. Lord knows, I did that a million times. But one week, it was different. I felt God calling a specific name over me. It was "counselor". His name is "Counselor" capitalized and with all authority. But I heard Him ask of me, "Laura, will you be a counsel for me?". I responded with Yes. And walked away wondering how, when, why, and where. Over the next few years, prior to meeting A, I did little to explore this commitment. But I knew I had made it.

To make this story a bit shorter....I'll cut to the year 2004. Aaron and I had two of our three children by this point. Emma was born in 1999, and Hannah in 2003. I was a happy stay-at-home mom with little worry over much, and Aaron was working full-time and doing part-time music ministry work. Life was exhausting, but good. And for the first time in our lives, we were working together without one of us pulling the other one along! A few monumental moments happened for me spiritually that year. I was praying one day and a lady in our church spoke some words of affirmation over me that was as if God himself had leaned down and said, "Don't forget who I made you to be". I began teaching ladies Bible Studies and took a position over the nursery ministry. But there was more.

Aaron came home from work one day and said, "Hey babe. I found out that a local school is offering the marriage and family counselor program on Saturdays. I think we aught to pray about this for you." I was shocked. Almost trembling. Seriously? Did God just make a complete WAY for me? Yes. Turns out He did. And is still doing this today. At age sixteen, God called out to me and I heard Him. I committed it before the church and those people prayed for me. Many of them still do to this day. At twenty eight years old, I finally saw with clear perspective my first step! It was one of many, and I am still stepping everyday.

I completed the degree in December of 2006. Will, our third child, was about to hit his first birthday. I decided to forgo an opportunity to begin a private practice in a small local town. I felt like I needed to be at home with the kids. And happily I did! And did! And did! I worked hard at being in the right place at the right time, working my way toward spiritually mature women, seeking counsel, wanting to pursue God's best. And then, I hit depression. Serious depression. Waking in the night unable to breathe and my heart pounding through the roof. I began asking God what was going on. He never said it, but I felt it. "You have forsaken your first love." In so many ways, I just did school. I did my requirements. I got the job done. But I had failed to praise Him through the process.

I turned my efforts towards God. Really, really listening to Him. Asking for accountability and affirmation from godly women. And then one day....the plan landed right in my lap. I may have told the story a hundred times, but it's clearly important to me. Delivering a baby gift to a friend, she says, "Hey Laura, I'm moving. Do you want my office space?". I'm thinking....."Is she crazy?". The more we talked the more I realized it was possible. I called everyone I knew and said, "Can you believe this?" They all said "yes, why can't you?".

Well, friends. I'm almost eight months into the dream. The one that started in 1991. I keep watching God's activity all around me and I'm thinking the whole time...."How much sooner could I have been here?". Not the building, or the practice. But in the plans of God? And maybe I was all along and just didn't recognize it. Or maybe I wasn't, and knew it all along. There was a time in my life that I was so afraid of what ELSE God might say, I even remember asking Him not to tell me anymore. Oh me of Little Faith. I give thanks to my Savior that He still speaks, and He was willing to make His voice loud enough so this stubborn girl could hear.

Sitting in worship this morning I was overwhelmed at one fact. God isn't through with my activity in His plan! The next part may be completely performed in blind Faith! In all honestly, I don't have years to waste! Or to grow up! I'm there. He's here. And we'll see where this next road leads.

Pray for me friends! Pray for Aaron and I. We have some incredible blessings, and some incredible obstacles. God is bigger than both. We trust in His infinite wisdom. And as my pastor stated this morning, "I never want to stand in the way of God's activity"! Friends, may we be found forwarding the activities of God and giving this HOPE as freely as we've received it.

Blessings!

And the universe was filled....

2009-04-02T02:33:00Z

Hey bloggers!

I cannot believe it's been so long since I've posted. I've been completely swamped with life, the practice, kids, travel, illness, but I'm here now! Let's spend a moment together reading the Word.

Ephesians 4:10
"He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe."

Have you ever been in a place in your own life where you wondered, "God where are you right now?". Oh my friends...He is ever present, close by, purposing to be heard, but are we listening? Can we discern the whisper of God? (Matt 10:27). Paul goes on to talk about the gifts that Christ has given and how we as the church are called to One Hope! We are prepared by HIM! (Eph. 4:11-13). Purposed so that the body of Christ might be built up. This work is taking place all over the world, and the universe is full of His Splendor! It's not just happening in our neck of the woods! We're talking the universe here!!

We can often forget that God's in the business of reaching out. We reach in, dig in, and hang on. To one another. To our comfort. To tradition, safety, security.....all the things that SEEM harmless, but can easily become bondage. Are there things you're attached to? A way of doing things? A mindset? A routine? Well...you might want to consider a bit of change!

I am under a challenging decision in my life. You may be too. But the comfort that I gain is not in what I can do in this situation, or in how I might handle it. No, my comfort lies in this. "He who descended (to bear the burden of my sin) is the very one (and only one) who ascended (left this world and broke every barrier that sin had placed on man) higher than all the heavens (there is no place higher than His position) in order (on purpose and on time) to fill (make full) the universe (all of existence)."

That's just Laura's amplified version that she inserted......but it means something to me. It means that I know and walk with the ONE who is higher than high, and is fuller than full, in HIS own majesty! If I follow that, I'm not going to be led astray, down a wrong path, or on a winding road to nowhere. No....He has filled the universe, and we have a special "position" in that Kingdom work.

Use your gifts. Build up the body of Christ around your home, your community, your region, your world! I can't reach the same people you can. You can't reach the same ones I can. But together, we can reach! How big is your universe? God filled it all the way to the brim and overflowing with the Love of Christ!

Expand your thoughts on God's Kingdom. If you can define it, it's not big enough. If you can visualize it, you can't see enough. If you can sense it.....you're right where you're supposed to be!

Blessings!

New Glimpses...

2009-02-20T14:07:00Z

Ok, so maybe I'm the only person who has this happen....but the other day I was sitting at my desk in the counseling office and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I found a much more mature looking, actually sophisticated, woman I hadn't recognized before. Something about being in that setting, doing what I do....well, it will age a woman! I'm not sure I know the woman in the mirror at times. She is being transformed so quickly that I can barely keep up.

I mean really, when did I grow up? And if I'm grown up, then why do I still have all these child-like fears and concerns? I have resolved myself to believe that God's in the business of giving "new glimpses". I can't see perfectly. I wear contacts or glasses. All the time! I'm imperfect. But God does see perfectly. My reflection to Him, is always the same. He KNOWS me! I'm the one who doesn't know me! The real me. The redeemed me! This is the person I am learning to accept. Learning to behave like. And learning to adore.

So I'm catching new glimpses. I walk through doubt just like the rest of you. I think to myself, "Am I doing the right thing? Are my kids doing well? Have I made the right decision? Am I on the right track?" And quite honestly, I don't always like my own answers. But then, something miraculous happens when I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. God ushers me along and gives me more "reflection" moments where I see a glimpse.

Folks, I don't have a clue what's in my future. I just know that the more I look in the mirror, the more I want to see. There are days I want to go backwards. It's less stressful there. Right? But it's also the "been there done that" mentality. Who wants to wake up and do the exact same thing every single day? (Now my routine oriented friends are offended....sorry!)

Seriously, we have to desire different. We aught to desire things like: Impact, Difference, Change, Purpose! But oftentimes we get stuck on valuing things like: Comfort and Safety!

So where's the bridge point? The life lesson?

Try something different. Do something you always said you wanted to do. Take a risk. Believe in the dream. Do LIFE! And be sure to share God's story along the way. Someone needs a message of Hope in the Adventure!

**This post is dedicated to my dear friend Anna. Anna, I'm proud of you sister! You dreamed, purposed, and accepted what God put in your path. Enjoy Hawaii my friend! Aloha...and God speed. Share His story! I miss you already.**

Warring w/ the worlds....

2009-02-17T03:32:00Z

Life is tough. People go through desperate times. And right now, I'm doing battle. I haven't been able to write much lately. I keep confidentiality at the highest priority in my private practice. Do you know what people live through? Are you complaining about little insignificant things that don't amount to much? Seriously...think it through. Is what you have to say worth saying at all? People are drowning in sorrow, despair, depression, anxieties of all kinds, and illness that cannot be contained. We live in a world that is caving in on itself. Everything we once knew, we now question. It's time. Yes, it's time. Time to put away the foolish things, and take our stand in the LORD. Share Him. Talk of Him. Please Him. Honor Him. People.....today is somebody's last. Someone else's first.

We don't have the luxury of waiting and waiting to get things right. Being a great worker, great mom or dad, great citizen, great caretaker, great celebrity, of great interest, in great company, and living with great taste......these things simply do not reach into eternity. Is your life built upon a saving knowledge and relationship with Jesus Christ. It's that simple. Do you know Him? Does He know you? Are you sharing with Him? Is He sharing with you?

Pray for me. This life is tough. I see it, experience it, and have to contain it. My clients need a place to express hurt. How in the world did God choose me for this? Seriously...I'm getting glimpses of the moaning that the Spirit intercedes with (Rom. 8:26). My heart yearns for a better time. The song says, "Better is One Day in your courts, better is one day in your house, better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere...." Oh Father.....Lead on Oh King Eternal. Do not overlook the sufferings of your people. Credit them as righteousness, and Lead On. Bring us out. Out of this place.

Blessings.....

It's Gonna Cost You!

2009-01-27T02:28:00Z

Emma, our oldest daughter, is nine and a half. Yes....still young enough to be counting the half years. When does that cease to be important? Somewhere around twenty-one I think. You may see an emergence around twenty-nine...with plenty of us saying we're twenty-nine and a half (plus a decade or two--wink, wink).

So Emma's a pretty involved child. She enjoys a good challenge, mental stimulation, creative works you might say. Not necessarily the "sports" girl. And I'm so thankful for exactly who she is. We have been thrilled with her interest in music. She recently asked to begin piano lessons and we agreed, given that my sister-in-law teaches out of her home. No....we didn't get a discount! It's full price, but still, an easier solution than going across town. In addition to piano, Emma dances w/ the ballet company at her school, sings in a local children's choir at our alma mater, and is currently involved with a girls indepth Bible Study at our church. Add to all of this her social calendar, school work, and love of reading....she can get a little "scatter brained" at times.

Over the Christmas break, she took a HUGE break from piano. I didn't say much about it. Afterall, I don't want her to do things in life "for me". We talked about getting back in the swing of things and began weekly sessions about two weeks ago. She's admittedly not following through and I've discussed this with her on a number of occassions. Classes are on Tuesday afternoons, and tonight she looks at me and says, "I haven't practiced piano at all this week". My response. "That's gonna cost you." She asked me what I meant and I explained that in life........when you commit to do something, you should plan to follow through. Teachers of extra-curricular activities expect you are interested in what they are doing. They count on you for their income and their time is preplanned to fit your needs. So...the life lesson for today is this....."Don't commit to something you aren't willing to pay for. That is with your time, your efforts, your interest, in addition to your money!"

Don't waste your valuable life space, just to fill it to the brim of activity. And teach your kids that follow through is important. Our agreement with Emma is this: If she goes another week without practicing her piano, she will have to pay for that week's session. Yep! It's going to be her $15, not mine. If she's practicing and doing what is required, then we're happy to pay for her. If she doesn't....it's gonna cost her!

Everything in life comes with a cost. If you don't follow through, what does that say to others? How does your behavior match or mirror your belief system? Are they congruent? This can apply to many, many situations. But most importantly, it applies to things we say "YES" to, and have absolutely no idea how we're going to make it happen. For me, I don't say "YES" all that often. I say "YES" when "NO" is not an option. That's when God says to me, "Laura, this is for you." You have to be careful not to say "NO" out of your own desire to be lazy. But rather, learning to stay close enough to the Father to know His will for you concerning your life activities. So....if you've asked me to do something, and I said No. Don't take it personal. I only commit to the things I have a clear directive on, and a clear understanding of how it affects those I love most. We really can live a life of service....to busyness. And blame God for our tired, worn out lives. He's saying, "my yoke is easy and my burden light". Listen to Him. And the direction He is calling you.

If life is too busy, too hurried, and too tiresome to breathe.....there's probably something you've picked up and called your own, that was never intended to be "yours". Lay it down. Be willing to admit when you're wrong. And always know that God designed us for seasons of intense work, and peaceful rest. We tend to leave that latter part out. Write this one down...."Your closest relationships (those within your own household) are the ones you have the greatest potential to influence." The ones in your home, are your "captive audience". Long after the adults in your class disappear, friends move away, and ball teams lose for 3 straight seasons, the audience you are left are the ones you actually "live" in front of. Transparency may not be desired, but it's a genetic offering!

Live life to the fullest...and make it count!
Blessings!

Boys will be boys....

2009-01-13T15:47:00Z

I had one of those life moments today that I think will go down in history....at least in my memory!

I was sitting on the floor getting Will dressed for preschool today. I grabbed a pair of camouflage pants, a brown sweatshirt, and his boots. Typical boy stuff, right? Well, he's wrestling with me and I'm struggling to keep him clothed at this point. He grabs his new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sword and jumps to his feet. With the camouflage pants, boots, and sword....it hit me like a ton of bricks. This boy will be a man one day. And that man is going to live with passion and desire to "fight". I haven't read Wild at Heart yet, but I think I need to. The Lord clearly let me know that men are warriors this morning. And as a mom, I might want to extinguish some parts of that, but I need to be careful not to quench his little spirit. He's made that way. Wired just "so". I can't understand it, but I know it's God's way of making him in His image.

My prayer for today is that William Aaron Horton will grow into a spiritual fighter, leader, and warrior! Following after God's own heart, and pursuing a passionate journey with Christ. I pray God will take him to the place of obedience and surrender. I had the immediate thought of "What if he wants to fight for real? Would he be in the Army, Marines, Air Force?" As a mom, this is gut wrenching, but as a woman who needs protection....I praise the memory of those who've walked that road. I could fear that, or I could praise that. I choose to praise. God makes warriors. Physical warriors. Spiritual warriors. Emotional warriors. All kinds of men and women are doing battle in this world. All believers in Jesus are engaged in battle. Who are you fighting with? Maybe you've pinpointed the wrong enemy, and called him by another name. Make no mistake. The accuser of the brethren stands accusing, even now. Prayer warriors....I love you, and we are called according to HIS purposes! In Christ Jesus.

Will....I want you to know God, know that we love you, and know who you were created to be. That's it. No strings attached. Except for one giant heart string that says I love you like crazy. But I give you back to the Giver of all Life. Take Him Lord. And USE HIM FOR YOUR GLORY!

Mighty and worthy of Praise....is the LORD MOST HIGH!

Last Minute Thoughts

2008-12-31T15:39:00Z

Well, it's official. For those of you who dislike change, tomorrow morning you're going to have to scratch out '08 on your checks and write '09. Isn't it amazing how so many things affect our lives, yet we have absolutely no control over them. It's not as if you can determine that 2008 was a good year and decide to stay there!  No. We have to move forward. We get older. We move through celebrations, memories, and events like a runner who sees the finish line but wants to savor the steps just prior to the close of the race. Have you noticed? We take pictures, blog, journal, scrapbook......all so we can preserve a little bit of the "what", "where", "when", and "how" of life! I love it! We want to remember. But in all the remembering, do we leave ourselves time to dream?

I spent over four hours yesterday organizing my office files, drawers, pens/pencils, old cameras, films, etc. I went to bed with a "Whew....now I know where it all is" feeling! But when I came in this morning I realized how much MORE I could do. I've got all these old home movies on the original formats that probably need to be transferred to DVD. I've got a bazillion photos that never got printed. I've got files that have too much information in them to get rid of anything else. I need a fire proof cabinet for those special documents. The list can go on and on. Not to mention the family computer is at the shop! It crashed on Christmas Day!!

I think storing, organizing, and remembering can become an obsession if I'm not careful.  You see. Life gets messy. Memories aren't always tucked away in the tub for storage. Sometimes they flood without warning.  As I sit hear listening to my favorite artist for 2008, John Mayer, the lyric says over and over "Say what you need to say". I agree John. Share your life. Spend it in words, actions, and life decisions that matter.  Dream a little. Believe a lot! God has given us great purpose in our days.

My verse for 2008 was Romans 8:1, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus".  I needed to know this. All year long.  There is nothing that can separate me from His love! I once was condemned by my sin. But Christ covered that....and released me from the power of that sin. You see, my salvation was secured. But my doubts were not answered until I meditated on this truth! Everytime I began to repent of sins of my past....God would remind me, "there is no condemnation over those Laura.....but look toward today....let's deal with those things too!" It's easy to get bogged down in the past sins. The ones you think are atrocious. But the ones from today, often give the illusion of not being "that bad".  God began to release something in me. The recognition that my condemnation was no longer, but my humility for current sins was welcomed and favored by God.

My verse for 2009 has yet to be determined. But one that I love is:  Eph. 3:17b-19 "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Oh, be blessed in this day.  My prayer is that I, you, and they might be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God! Whew.....can I get a witness? Life is moving. Christ is coming. The door is open for today. Make a difference!  May we walk expecting His arrival.

Blessings!

Photo Memories

2008-12-18T19:40:00Z

Have you ever noticed that the more photos you have on your hard drive, the less you want to organize and store them properly? I've been saying for over a year that we needed to find another solution for photo storage. We used to have an online account where we uploaded and stored photos, but little did I know that when you no longer purchase prints, they end up deleting your photos too! We had copies, so no worries.

I woke up today and decided this was the day I was going to do something about my photos. And yes, I know. I probably should have done this before now. Anyhow, I checked myself into hotel "Photoshop Elements" and decided to camp for a while. It's been 3 hours, and I'm nearly finished!  Three DVDs, proudly labeled "My Catalog 2004", "My Catalog 2005", and "My Catalog 2006" are neatly tucked away in their protective cases and ready to be taken to the lock box. That thing hasn't seen me or my key in over 2 years. So, I guess it's not a bad idea to take time to visit.

But I'm having a hard time realizing the last 4 years are stored on 3-5 DVDs. Really? Is it that simple? I wonder how many DVDs it would take to get my whole existence on file? And I wonder if there are people out there who think this is how God operates? Maybe there is an idea that because this is how we store information, then God does that too. We're categorical, historical, and logical thinkers. We even like color-coding! Ok, maybe that's just me!

I was once taught (as a child) that God was kind of this way too. The idea was that my whole life was going to be projected onto this huge screen for all to see. My good, bad, ugly, and everything inbetween!  And I would feel incredibly remorseful for all the things I hadn't done correctly, or things I had missed in God's kingdom. My parents didn't teach this. It came from an evangelical pastor at my local church. As I think back, it's almost like I'm still sitting there. I most likely rededicated my life that night. I think it was revival. I might have been 10 yrs. old. I continued to live the better portion of my next 20 years believing (to some extent) that this "theory" made sense.  Even when Scripture didn't exactly match up with this notion, the message was so powerful, some portions of it "stuck" in a very, very "sticky" way!

At the conclusion of my story, I'll tell you that I no longer believe that about God. I stood in front of the ocean this past summer (2008) and glanced out at the pitch black sea. It was nighttime and Aaron and I were just standing there. I began to cry as I thought back to that church service. With this black nothingness in front of me, and the thought of my life passing before me on the big screen for all to see, that haunting feeling rushed in.  I turned to A and said, "Do you really think it will end that way?" (We had been talking about this memory for a while.) And my husband began to recite what seemed like a hundred Scriptures that directly combatted such "bondage" provoking theology.

The Scripture that said it all for me was, "Love keeps no record of wrong"  (1 Cor. 13). A looked over at me and said, "What about Jesus has ever led you to believe His purpose is to embarrass you?" I had to think about that. And I confidently said, "Nothing". Jesus has never embarrassed me. Made fun of me. Made me feel like I am unlovable. Or held a record of wrong over me. All those things came from my bad choices, words, thoughts, and the schemes of a very present enemy. When I looked out at the ocean again......it was as if I could walk on water. I kept waiting for the clouds to part, the noises to grow silent, and for Jesus Himself to appear. In A's arms, with my mind on Christ's love for me.....I knew salvation had come once again! In all of my doubts, Jesus is and has always been the answer.  His Word is my counsel. His sacrafice, My Only Hope. And His forgiveness is rooted in eternity.

So as I sit here and wait for my last DVD to verify and complete......I am eternally thankful that Christ alone paid the price for my entire DVD collection! He's got the right to remember every snap shot, but He's chosen to leave the particularly "dark" photos out of my compilation set. He's only interested in the pictures that capture my best. You know the ones. The ones of your kids that you carry with you, post on Facebook, or upload to your blog!  Well, He's got a similar affection, with much more "awesomeness" attached!

At the end of this day, I'll have a few years of photo DVDs compiled. But at the end of my existence.....I'll have two things that matter. Christ's blood covering my multitude of sins, and my name in the Lambs Book of Life. I wonder if Jesus enjoys "scrapbooking"? What picture might He include next to my name? Ha! What a fun thought!

Blessings!
Laura

Merry Christmas 2008

2008-12-17T05:25:00Z

The Horton Family 2008

Emma (age 9), Hannah (age 5), Will (age 2)

Aaron and Laura--our 14th Christmas together!

I can't think of any time of year that says "I love you" quite like Christmas.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

Blessings!

Difficult Seasons Come....

2008-11-30T21:52:00Z

I'm in the midst of one of the most difficult seasons of my adult life. Have you been there? Life is completely blessed, God is moving, I'm listening, and BAM. The attack comes. For me, the attack is relentless. Without a break. Forceful. And purposed to throw me off course. The grand scheme of my enemy has been forged. Oh.....LORD, how I want to be released. But in every moment of self-doubt, fear, and anxiety, I am learning to rely more heavily upon you.  I am reminded in Ephesians to "Stand" and again to "Stand Firm". My feet are planted, now you just keep my body upright.

I recently visited a cardiologist after being free from arrhythmias for 15 years. I have some nuisances that I've lived with, that ultimately point to some other areas of concern. All will be fine, and I believe God healed me many years ago. But now, He's just showing Himself powerful enough to Heal Again! I've got to be vigilant and purposeful in this endeavor, without being fearful. I know where this road leads. In utter dependence on God! Oh, may I never have to relearn this one!

In the same time period that I opened the counseling ministry, sought licensure for my profession, and began a full swing attempt to pursue what God had laid before me, God also began prompting Aaron to consider PhD programs. He's done wonderfully well on his GMAT. Had an awesome interview process with a university with lots of prestige. And now is having to consider the "what if I get accepted" reality. This adds a bit of stress. One of the universities is 3 hours from home!!  Do you guys realize I live on a family farm with all three sets of grandparents within 10 miles? With three babies (age 9, 5, and 2) I think I'd be nuts to leave this place. Besides the fact that I'm in the home I grew up in, and where A and I have been for almost 12 years!  Not something I can just put on the market and ride off into the sunset!! But oh Lord, if you'd be gracious enough to provide another way.......please give it! Let the university in town accept Aaron. Let it be. I want your best......and will submit in every way to accept it. But I'm still asking!! Let it be a 20 minute drive, not 3 hours. Please!! And all of my licensure requirements, please don't let them go to waste. I have a 3-year window of opportunity that has already opened. If you're closing that endeavor, do it quickly!!

Do you see my "tornado" that has engulfed? Probably a good indication why the blog hasn't been updated in a while. I've been a blubbering idiot in an emotionally dysfunctional state! Ha......and I'm the counselor! No, actually God is the counselor. I just show up and say Hello.  He really has to do all the work. And by the progress being made by a few of my clients, God is awesome at this thing!  He really gets them, and He's doing things in their lives that I never dreamed possible.

I know God is not the author of confusion. So, I'm having to be careful in staying level headed. Some things just don't make sense. One thing I have reconciled is that God's call on my life is never dormant. No matter where I am, and how I'm using it.....He's in the midst of making me who I am supposed to be. Many of you know how difficult this has been for me. But I'm always willing to take a detour, if it's HIS detour.  I prefer the roadsigns Lord. Can you make them all neon green?

Life is Difficult. Seasons of Difficulty come. But my God.....He always IS, WAS, and IS TO COME. Life is not all about me. It's about them.....the ones who need to know. Those who need to hope in Jesus. To believe. And to stay hopeful.   May my eyes be opened........so that I may see. And may I see something remarkably healing in the process. Lord, I feel your grip.

Blessings!

Requests....

2008-11-15T15:05:00Z

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6,7 NIV

God's peace is purposed to guard your heart and your mind. With so many things asking for your input, your gift, your time, your allegiance......know that we are to be anxious for nothing, but in everything, present your request to God. How much are we relying on man to fulfill our dream God gave? I know for me, this is huge. Let me explain.

In opening the practice, my inclination was to "secure" a referral source before I began. I wanted the support of many in my saying "Yes". God allowed many opportunities for this to take form, but ultimately, He doesn't want me to base my obedience on anyone else's follow through! If I "do" what He's called me to do, then I have to "Believe" He will provide a due season of "work" and "provision" for it to be accomplished. It is not in God's character to set you and I up for failure. So when we get a Word....we listen, confirm, and believe! HE Is Faithful To Bring It To Completion!

We have not, because we ask not. But to whom are we asking? Present your requests to God. With Thanksgiving. AND you get the added benefit of the Peace of God. Beth Moore suggests praying in the affirmative thanksgiving that God has already accomplished "The Thang". So in essence, I can walk through an empty lobby and thank God for all those who will soon fill those chairs. My Spirit bears witness that this sort of BELIEVING GOD is acceptable, honorable, and praise-giving to Our God, who can do immeasurable more than we can imagine.

Blessings!

Gaining Perspective

2008-11-12T13:32:00Z

If you frequent my blog, you recognize that my writings seem to be consistently, inconsistent! Perhaps a little life is going on in between each post. I feel like I've been drinking from a water hose!!

With the holidays fast approaching, seasons of change on the horizon, and family gatherings just around the bend, I wanted to encourage us to all just STOP! Just for a moment. It's time to take inventory.

We, as people of Faith, can get very busy "doing" and "planning".  I've been in this world long enough to know this is how many of us gauge our Christ-walk. If we're running on empty, we think "Boy, I'm really doing a lot for the Kingdom. Look how God is using me." And yes, that can represent God's working in our lives, or it can also represent our need to be working. This need to "do" can send us on a mighty detour if it takes the first place prize of our hearts.  If you're a worker bee, when is the last time you sat quietly? Listening? Searching? Asking? Knocking? Do you know how to spend time with God? Do you know how He speaks? And what He has already said of you?

I'm not suggesting that you don't "do" what God has purposed. I'm simply saying don't "do" it out of turn. If you're consistently "out of the Word", be careful to accept any new action in your life. Even if it's a good thing. Go to the Word. Spend time with the Father, and ask Him if this is your Word. God's Works are abundant. And He purposed specific works in advance just for you (Eph 2:10).  My life's work is not the same as yours. We can even covet one another's "works" if we're not careful.  Afterall, there are some journeys that seem more adventurous to the naked eye. Take care to follow God's command for you. It is intentional and good.

Where God is taking you is really up to Him. And it can change at any moment. How will you handle that change? Disappointment, fear, abandonment, those are all options. But so are patience, belief, and long suffering.  The plans may seem clear today, but God can choose to change that "thing" if we aren't ready to give Him the glory, or maybe we need to be protected, or maybe we haven't caught the true vision.

Oh dear friends. Rest in God's provisions. They are always sweeter than honey. Spend some time asking God today if the preparations of your heart match the works He's prepared in advance. Earnestly seek, in Faith.

Hebrews 11:6

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Staples....

2008-10-31T03:06:00Z

Now, this word has a variety of meanings such as:  (a) a small shiny object used to attach papers, (b) a "must" have item such as water, deodorant, or Cheetos, (c) a raw material, (d) a medical suture used for deep wounds, or (e) a measurement for wool fibers.

One guess which definition applies to the Horton household tonight.

Ding, Ding, Ding.......You Guessed it! We made our first trip to the E.R. with William and he is now the proud owner of 4 bright shiny metal staples in the back of his noggin. Dinner was just out of the oven (roasted pork loin) and the kids and I were playing in the den together. I was laying down on the futon and he decided to jump right on top of me. I put my hand up with a pillow and we began playing pillow fights! Fun, right? Well, then he decides to "fake" drop on the futon and is laughing the whole way down, until "BAM". His little head hits the frame of the futon. I grabbed him up and held him and realized my hand was getting warm.  I felt like I was in a movie. I pulled my hand away from the back of his head and Oh My! There was blood everywhere. I freaked. Aaron came to the rescue. Emma called my Mom and said, "Will, head, come quick....." and we were scurrying out the door.  But wait. What hospital do we go to?

So I grab the phone call the pediatrician's office and tell them my options of hospitals. In a very kind way, she says, "Um....we prefer Vandy." So I say, "ok, we're on our way". We call Aaron's step-mom who is a CRNA and lives on the way to Nashville to have her take a look and make sure we're not exaggerating the issue.....she takes one look and says, "Yep...they're going to want to fix that!" Are you kidding me? It's been a long day, but now we're heading to VUMC! Once we got there, everything was really calm and under control. Will did great. Our entire trip was 2 hours in and out. Not bad for an E.R. experience. And on the way home we are still starving at this point. There's Wendy's up ahead. Forget the pork loin. It can wait until tomorrow. We get Wendy's. And may I just say, "I should have waited for the pork loin." Food was terrible. I mean really terrible. Will and I are riding in the back of the car watching "Chicken Little". He's seeming back to his normal goofy self. Dancing in the car and all. I'm thinking, "Wow. What a day."

And tomorrow. Well, it starts off with a bang! Bright and early. I'm meeting with the attorney to set up the corporation status and filings. Brookstone Counseling Services, Inc. will be a reality soon. When it is, look for me in the phone book and tell all your friends.  I turned down an opportunity to interview with a youth intervention program today. We talked on the phone and I really enjoyed the conversation. They have a great program and something I would be interested in, if time permitted.  I realized today that the private practice, my supervision hours, and my home life are going to be all this gal can handle!  I'm Believing God to be HUGE on this issue! I am already thanking Him in advance for a full lobby of clients.  I pray that I'm a help. A guide. A voice of reason for someone who needs it. I shudder to think where I'd be today had I NOT Believed God! I think that pit dwelling got too dimmly lit for me at times. It didn't take much for me to "give up" the dream when I was living there. In the darkness of my own fear, I reckon.  But it's taking all of me to live out the dream! And with each step along the way, the pit is being left behind.  I didn't have to climb out. Actually, He pulled me out onto level ground. He didn't say, "Laura, figure this one out." He said, "Hey daughter....I've got this figured out. Do you trust me?" "Yep!" I mean, "Yes Sir". "I do!"  "Then take my hand and let's go!" Whew......and the wind is in my face the whole way. Just serving as a reminder that I'm going against the wind. I'm still running.....against the Wind. Against the Wind......now sing along!

Blessings!

What time is it?

2008-10-26T00:52:00Z

This is a question that was often omitted in the early days of child rearing! It really didn't matter what time it was. As long as everyone was sleeping, eating, getting bathed, and making it out of their pjs during the day, it was considered a success. Ha! Oh, the simplicity of sweet times long passed.

This week has ushered in more change that any previous week in my life. And that's a lot of life that's been lived in 33 years. The counseling practice is open!!  My office is furnished, babysitters have been aranged, and my heart is so FULL!  My purposes in this "change" are to Glorify the Lord with the gifts He's granted. Not just in counseling, but in being hospitable, encouraging, long suffering, bearing with one another, and the like. When I put the office together, I new the monetary limitations were there, but God provided every single item needed to make it "homey" and "welcoming". I think hospitality should never be wasted on just dinner parties and planned events. Making "warmth" a part of who you are....is essential to being authentic. People know when you're fooling them. Really, we do!

As I walk this new path, there are some hard truths that come with this season. I simply cannot keep up the level of "connection" that I have in the past. My blog, emails, calls, and time "hangin'" is going to change.  I now understand what "walking with Him" looks like from the inside out. He's quickly becoming my "best" friend. I always knew Christ was there, but He's there way MORE than I ever took time to consider!  Why didn't I notice this before now?  He is making things new in me that I didn't even realize were dead. My focus is no longer on "what" for the day, but "who". Glory to His Name.

My sweet husband and kids are just radiant to me now. I loved them before, but I love a bit deeper today. A little time away really does show us how important and blessed we are to have a "home" to return to. I wouldn't be surprised if this role change for me doesn't include a role change for the entire family. Our heart beat is quickly becoming fast for God's plans for humanity. How interesting that through this season, Aaron too is finding himself quickened to the "call".  God is moving FAST! We're trying to pace ourselves, but as I said earlier, "What time is it?" It's KINGDOM TIME! Moving right along....

I would apologize for not writing sooner, but really, I shouldn't. I write when the time is right, the work is done, and the purpose is useful. For me, I see this as a tool to encourage and to pen down what God is doing in our lives. It's really not about me. And if you're reading for your daily dose of "life lessons" try reading Scripture first!  The Word alone is the "Bread of Life"! I mean that. If you wake up and check blogs for your daily encouragement, STOP! We just aren't all that interesting!

What time is it in your life? Are you planning and preparing for a season of change? Or are you in the midst of comfort and routine? Watch closely if you're too comfortable. You might be ignoring something grand! God desires "all" of us. And His gift is for "all" of us!

Blessed are they who have believed and yet not seen (John 20:29)......walk in Belief!

Blessings...

Brook Stones....

2008-10-12T20:11:00Z

I've hesitated to write about my recent life changes, recognizing the more I talk about it, the more real it is becoming! These past few weeks have been a complete whirlwind. It all began with a call from a friend informing me that the TN state licensure requirements for professional counselors were increasing in July 2009. When I say increasing, I should emphasize that they are tripling! Currently, if you have your master's degree and are logging hours for state licensure, then you have a 1000 client hour requirement. After July, it's going to be 3000. Whew! That sent me into a state of "panic" and I started calling supervisors to see if this law change also applied to Marriage and Family Therapists. At the moment, it does not, but what happens in the LPC world, is soon followed in the MFT world. The suggestion of everyone I know....."Get going with licensure, Laura". My degree was confered in 2006, so I've been waiting for something. Something to usher in reality!

All along the way, I'm praying things like "Now Lord? Why now? Is this from you? Or is this a detour? You know how I love being a mommy." Later that next week, I have an opportunity to drop by a friend's home to take a baby gift that is over 5 months due! And yes, they live in a very close neighboring area. I'm a loser. Anyhow, when I show up, we begin talking and I'm realizing God has set up this encounter as well. My friend (from my master's program) is moving home to Oklahoma and needs someone to take over her office lease. Prime location, sharing an office suite with 2 other counselors I went to school with. Lovely. Now I'm saying, "God....are you kidding me? How can this be?". So I call the supervisor again and say, "Keep me on your short list....I may be coming in soon. I've got one more obstacle to climb, then I'll be ready to make a decision." Within two short days I get a call from a ministry leader saying we need to talk. The needs within the body of Christ are growing.  "We need you Laura." My response, "Me?". Yes...you!  God said it. I simply said, "Yes, Lord...let them know I am here."

I'm leaving this meeting telling God all kinds of things. Like how scared I am. How I love being a stay at home mom. How I cannot do this thing without Him. The difficulties we face when Aaron is out of town. Oh, the frustrations I've felt over failures I can't even speak out loud. The sweet voice of Jesus calms and says, "I am here." "Yes Lord, I see you all around. This is all far too orchestrated in blessing for me to have concocted this myself. What are you asking? What is the plan?" His response, "The plan is for you to be for the body what I designed." "Ok, Lord. But you've got to remove me from the process. Remind me they don't want to hear from me, they want to hear from you. So speak...please. Use me."

I come home, talk to Aaron.  He sees the same things unfolding. I make one final call to my supervisor and say, "When can we meet to set this up?" His response, "Early next week, and oh by the way....I was contemplating not taking anymore supervisees, but I'll agree to see you through this." My LORD! What in the world! Talk about being in the right place at the right time, and under the right influences. Then a few days later, I go meet with my friend (one of the office suite partners) and she shows me the office. Wow. It's real now. I can see it unfold. How long have I been blind? How long did I linger?

After lunch that day, I knew this was the season. It doesn't make sense. Doesn't fit into my plans. And doesn't seem appealing to have my life "undone" in this way.  My obsessions as a stay-at-home-mom are all falling into view now. It was an attack. The enemy had me pinned down into a whirlwind of perfection and self-absorption.  If I'm that easily distracted by messy closets and piles of laundry, no wonder I've felt useless at times.  Two years of my life have been spent in comparison to what I should be getting done, what others seem to accomplish, and how "my life" was teeter-tottering between normal and chaotic! Rushing from here to there, and everywhere in between. And I honestly, didn't really have anywhere I had to be! All choices. Simple choices.

The name of the practice is still undecided. But my heart keeps calling it "Brookstone Counseling Services". When I think about a brook, I think of quiet, calm, peaceful waters. The kind that trickle. Memories kind of do that too. Don't you think? And the stones beneath a brook have been worn smooth. Not all of them are perfect, but smoother for being in the brook, than on the dry ground. The mental imagery here provides peace to me. God requires that we "get wet" sometimes. May I be found dipping my hands into the brook....rescuing a few prize stones.

Blessings!

Prayer Warriors:

2008-10-08T17:20:00Z

I am so sad to share that Zach Weimer has lost his earthly battle today. We know he is present with the LORD, but the sadness lingers with his family/friends who will miss him so very much. Thank you for praying for the Weimers, and for Zach during the last few days. Please go to www.caringbridge.com search: zacharyweimer, for a full message from the family/friends.

I will be back with you in a few days. We are taking some much needed time "off".

Love to all......blessings!
Laura

Zach is still fighting....

2008-10-08T01:58:00Z

Tonight's update indicates Zach's life is still in critical stages, but he is showing some signs of EEG activity! For a full report, go to www.caringbridge.com search blog: zacharyweimer

I will be without internet connection for a few days, so please make sure to check in on Zach and continue praying for his recovery and his sweet family. What an incredible few days they have weathered. Many of you reading have walked this road with them in prayer. Please go to the family's web page and leave a word of encouragement for them.

With Heavy Hearts.....

2008-10-07T15:58:00Z

From the Caring Bridge Website:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/zacharyweimer

"It is with a heavy, heavy heart that I share the latest update on Zach. Around 10 am this morning, his condition took a serious turn for the worst. The doctors were heroic in their efforts to stabilize him, but at this point, it appears that they were unsuccessful. They are planning to run a few more tests, but believe at this point that God has called Zach home.

We believe that God heals in many ways, and sometimes, the way that he heals is to remove us from our limited, fallen bodies, call us home to Him, and grant us form that is perfect and eternal where we recieve our complete and total healing. We do not always understand why, but until Jesus returns we acknowledge that 'we know in part.'

Please be praying for Shawn, Sally, and Kelly. A large group of their friends, pastors, and elders are gathered around them at this time. We pray for peace for them, while still leaving room for God to shock us with the miraculous if He so chooses.

Thank you for your prayers during this difficult, tragic time. Your prayers will continue to be needed in the coming days as we seek to love, care for, and support Shawn, Sally, and Kelly."

Caring Bridge Website for Zack

2008-10-06T15:59:00Z

Hey everyone.

There is a website for Zach's progress now.

Please vist www.caringbridge.com and type in zacharyweimer. This will direct you to his family's website and you can leave comments, or sign up to receive email notifications regarding updates.

Thank you for praying. Have a blessed day.

Laura