I'm in the midst of one of the most difficult seasons of my adult life.  Have you been there?  Life is completely blessed, God is moving, I'm listening, and BAM.  The attack comes.  For me, the attack is relentless.  Without a break.  Forceful.  And purposed to throw me off course.  The grand scheme of my enemy has been forged.  Oh.....LORD, how I want to be released.  But in every moment of self-doubt, fear, and anxiety, I am learning to rely more heavily upon you.  I am reminded in Ephesians to "Stand" and again to "Stand Firm".  My feet are planted, now you just keep my body upright.  

I recently visited a cardiologist after being free from arrhythmias for 15 years.  I have some nuisances that I've lived with, that ultimately point to some other areas of concern.  All will be fine, and I believe God healed me many years ago.  But now, He's just showing Himself powerful enough to Heal Again!  I've got to be vigilant and purposeful in this endeavor, without being fearful.  I know where this road leads.  In utter dependence on God!  Oh, may I never have to relearn this one! 

In the same time period that I opened the counseling ministry, sought licensure for my profession, and began a full swing attempt to pursue what God had laid before me, God also began prompting Aaron to consider PhD programs.  He's done wonderfully well on his GMAT.  Had an awesome interview process with a university with lots of prestige.  And now is having to consider the "what if I get accepted" reality.  This adds a bit of stress.  One of the universities is 3 hours from home!!  Do you guys realize I live on a family farm with all three sets of grandparents within 10 miles?  With three babies (age 9, 5, and 2) I think I'd be nuts to leave this place.  Besides the fact that I'm in the home I grew up in, and where A and I have been for almost 12 years!  Not something I can just put on the market and ride off into the sunset!!  But oh Lord, if you'd be gracious enough to provide another way.......please give it!  Let the university in town accept Aaron.  Let it be.  I want your best......and will submit in every way to accept it.  But I'm still asking!!  Let it be a 20 minute drive, not 3 hours.  Please!!  And all of my licensure requirements, please don't let them go to waste.  I have a 3-year window of opportunity that has already opened.  If you're closing that endeavor, do it quickly!! 

Do you see my "tornado" that has engulfed?  Probably a good indication why the blog hasn't been updated in a while.  I've been a blubbering idiot in an emotionally dysfunctional state!  Ha......and I'm the counselor!  No, actually God is the counselor.  I just show up and say Hello.  He really has to do all the work. And by the progress being made by a few of my clients, God is awesome at this thing!  He really gets them, and He's doing things in their lives that I never dreamed possible. 

I know God is not the author of confusion.  So, I'm having to be careful in staying level headed.  Some things just don't make sense.  One thing I have reconciled is that God's call on my life is never dormant.  No matter where I am, and how I'm using it.....He's in the midst of making me who I am supposed to be.  Many of you know how difficult this has been for me.  But I'm always willing to take a detour, if it's HIS detour.  I prefer the roadsigns Lord.  Can you make them all neon green?   

Life is Difficult.  Seasons of Difficulty come.  But my God.....He always IS, WAS, and IS TO COME.  Life is not all about me.  It's about them.....the ones who need to know.  Those who need to hope in Jesus.  To believe.  And to stay hopeful.   May my eyes be opened........so that I may see.  And may I see something remarkably healing in the process.  Lord, I feel your grip. 

Blessings!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6,7 NIV

God's peace is purposed to guard your heart and your mind.  With so many things asking for your input, your gift, your time, your allegiance......know that we are to be anxious for nothing, but in everything, present your request to God.  How much are we relying on man to fulfill our dream God gave?  I know for me, this is huge.  Let me explain. 

In opening the practice, my inclination was to "secure" a referral source before I began.  I wanted the support of many in my saying "Yes".  God allowed many opportunities for this to take form, but ultimately, He doesn't want me to base my obedience on anyone else's follow through!  If I "do" what He's called me to do, then I have to "Believe" He will provide a due season of "work" and "provision" for it to be accomplished.  It is not in God's character to set you and I up for failure.  So when we get a Word....we listen, confirm, and believe!  HE Is Faithful To Bring It To Completion! 

We have not, because we ask not.  But to whom are we asking?  Present your requests to God.  With Thanksgiving.  AND you get the added benefit of the Peace of God.  Beth Moore suggests praying in the affirmative thanksgiving that God has already accomplished "The Thang".  So in essence, I can walk through an empty lobby and thank God for all those who will soon fill those chairs.  My Spirit bears witness that this sort of BELIEVING GOD is acceptable, honorable, and praise-giving to Our God, who can do immeasurable more than we can imagine. 

Blessings!

If you frequent my blog, you recognize that my writings seem to be consistently, inconsistent!  Perhaps a little life is going on in between each post.  I feel like I've been drinking from a water hose!!

With the holidays fast approaching, seasons of change on the horizon, and family gatherings just around the bend, I wanted to encourage us to all just STOP!  Just for a moment.  It's time to take inventory.  

We, as people of Faith, can get very busy "doing" and "planning".  I've been in this world long enough to know this is how many of us gauge our Christ-walk.  If we're running on empty, we think "Boy, I'm really doing a lot for the Kingdom.  Look how God is using me."  And yes, that can represent God's working in our lives, or it can also represent our need to be working.  This need to "do" can send us on a mighty detour if it takes the first place prize of our hearts.  If you're a worker bee, when is the last time you sat quietly?  Listening?  Searching?  Asking?  Knocking?  Do you know how to spend time with God?  Do you know how He speaks?  And what He has already said of you? 

I'm not suggesting that you don't "do" what God has purposed.  I'm simply saying don't "do" it out of turn.  If you're consistently "out of the Word", be careful to accept any new action in your life.  Even if it's a good thing.  Go to the Word.  Spend time with the Father, and ask Him if this is your Word.  God's Works are abundant.  And He purposed specific works in advance just for you (Eph 2:10).  My life's work is not the same as yours.  We can even covet one another's "works" if we're not careful.  Afterall, there are some journeys that seem more adventurous to the naked eye.  Take care to follow God's command for you.  It is intentional and good.

Where God is taking you is really up to Him.  And it can change at any moment.  How will you handle that change?  Disappointment, fear, abandonment, those are all options.  But so are patience, belief, and long suffering.  The plans may seem clear today, but God can choose to change that "thing" if we aren't ready to give Him the glory, or maybe we need to be protected, or maybe we haven't caught the true vision. 

Oh dear friends.  Rest in God's provisions.  They are always sweeter than honey.  Spend some time asking God today if the preparations of your heart match the works He's prepared in advance.  Earnestly seek, in Faith.       

Hebrews 11:6

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Now, this word has a variety of meanings such as:  (a) a small shiny object used to attach papers, (b) a "must" have item such as water, deodorant, or Cheetos, (c) a raw material, (d) a medical suture used for deep wounds, or (e) a measurement for wool fibers.  

One guess which definition applies to the Horton household tonight. 

Ding, Ding, Ding.......You Guessed it!  We made our first trip to the E.R. with William and he is now the proud owner of 4 bright shiny metal staples in the back of his noggin.  Dinner was just out of the oven (roasted pork loin) and the kids and I were playing in the den together.  I was laying down on the futon and he decided to jump right on top of me.  I put my hand up with a pillow and we began playing pillow fights!  Fun, right?  Well, then he decides to "fake" drop on the futon and is laughing the whole way down, until "BAM".  His little head hits the frame of the futon.  I grabbed him up and held him and realized my hand was getting warm.  I felt like I was in a movie.  I pulled my hand away from the back of his head and Oh My!  There was blood everywhere.  I freaked.  Aaron came to the rescue.  Emma called my Mom and said, "Will, head, come quick....." and we were scurrying out the door.  But wait.  What hospital do we go to?  

So I grab the phone call the pediatrician's office and tell them my options of hospitals.  In a very kind way, she says, "Um....we prefer Vandy."  So I say, "ok, we're on our way".  We call Aaron's step-mom who is a CRNA and lives on the way to Nashville to have her take a look and make sure we're not exaggerating the issue.....she takes one look and says, "Yep...they're going to want to fix that!"  Are you kidding me?  It's been a long day, but now we're heading to VUMC!  Once we got there, everything was really calm and under control.  Will did great.  Our entire trip was 2 hours in and out.  Not bad for an E.R. experience.  And on the way home we are still starving at this point.  There's Wendy's up ahead.  Forget the pork loin.  It can wait until tomorrow.  We get Wendy's.  And may I just say, "I should have waited for the pork loin."  Food was terrible.  I mean really terrible.  Will and I are riding in the back of the car watching "Chicken Little".  He's seeming back to his normal goofy self.  Dancing in the car and all.  I'm thinking, "Wow.  What a day."  

And tomorrow.  Well, it starts off with a bang!  Bright and early.  I'm meeting with the attorney to set up the corporation status and filings.  Brookstone Counseling Services, Inc. will be a reality soon.  When it is, look for me in the phone book and tell all your friends.  I turned down an opportunity to interview with a youth intervention program today.  We talked on the phone and I really enjoyed the conversation.  They have a great program and something I would be interested in, if time permitted.  I realized today that the private practice, my supervision hours, and my home life are going to be all this gal can handle!  I'm Believing God to be HUGE on this issue!  I am already thanking Him in advance for a full lobby of clients.  I pray that I'm a help.  A guide.  A voice of reason for someone who needs it.  I shudder to think where I'd be today had I NOT Believed God!  I think that pit dwelling got too dimmly lit for me at times.  It didn't take much for me to "give up" the dream when I was living there.  In the darkness of my own fear, I reckon.  But it's taking all of me to live out the dream!  And with each step along the way, the pit is being left behind.  I didn't have to climb out.  Actually, He pulled me out onto level ground.  He didn't say, "Laura, figure this one out."  He said, "Hey daughter....I've got this figured out.  Do you trust me?"  "Yep!"  I mean, "Yes Sir".  "I do!"  "Then take my hand and let's go!"  Whew......and the wind is in my face the whole way.  Just serving as a reminder that I'm going against the wind.  I'm still running.....against the Wind.  Against the Wind......now sing along!        


Blessings!
 

This is a question that was often omitted in the early days of child rearing!  It really didn't matter what time it was.  As long as everyone was sleeping, eating, getting bathed, and making it out of their pjs during the day, it was considered a success.  Ha!  Oh, the simplicity of sweet times long passed. 

This week has ushered in more change that any previous week in my life.  And that's a lot of life that's been lived in 33 years.  The counseling practice is open!!  My office is furnished, babysitters have been aranged, and my heart is so FULL!  My purposes in this "change" are to Glorify the Lord with the gifts He's granted.  Not just in counseling, but in being hospitable, encouraging, long suffering, bearing with one another, and the like.  When I put the office together, I new the monetary limitations were there, but God provided every single item needed to make it "homey" and "welcoming".  I think hospitality should never be wasted on just dinner parties and planned events.  Making "warmth" a part of who you are....is essential to being authentic.  People know when you're fooling them.  Really, we do!  

As I walk this new path, there are some hard truths that come with this season.  I simply cannot keep up the level of "connection" that I have in the past.  My blog, emails, calls, and time "hangin'" is going to change.  I now understand what "walking with Him" looks like from the inside out.  He's quickly becoming my "best" friend.  I always knew Christ was there, but He's there way MORE than I ever took time to consider!  Why didn't I notice this before now?  He is making things new in me that I didn't even realize were dead.  My focus is no longer on "what" for the day, but "who".  Glory to His Name. 

My sweet husband and kids are just radiant to me now.  I loved them before, but I love a bit deeper today.  A little time away really does show us how important and blessed we are to have a "home" to return to.  I wouldn't be surprised if this role change for me doesn't include a role change for the entire family.  Our heart beat is quickly becoming fast for God's plans for humanity.  How interesting that through this season, Aaron too is finding himself quickened to the "call".  God is moving FAST!  We're trying to pace ourselves, but as I said earlier, "What time is it?"  It's KINGDOM TIME!  Moving right along....

I would apologize for not writing sooner, but really, I shouldn't.  I write when the time is right, the work is done, and the purpose is useful.  For me, I see this as a tool to encourage and to pen down what God is doing in our lives.  It's really not about me.  And if you're reading for your daily dose of "life lessons" try reading Scripture first!  The Word alone is the "Bread of Life"!  I mean that.  If you wake up and check blogs for your daily encouragement, STOP!  We just aren't all that interesting!

What time is it in your life?  Are you planning and preparing for a season of change?  Or are you in the midst of comfort and routine?  Watch closely if you're too comfortable.  You might be ignoring something grand!  God desires "all" of us.  And His gift is for "all" of us!   

Blessed are they who have believed and yet not seen (John 20:29)......walk in Belief!

Blessings...

I've hesitated to write about my recent life changes, recognizing the more I talk about it, the more real it is becoming!  These past few weeks have been a complete whirlwind.  It all began with a call from a friend informing me that the TN state licensure requirements for professional counselors were increasing in July 2009.  When I say increasing, I should emphasize that they are tripling!  Currently, if you have your master's degree and are logging hours for state licensure, then you have a 1000 client hour requirement.  After July, it's going to be 3000.  Whew!  That sent me into a state of "panic" and I started calling supervisors to see if this law change also applied to Marriage and Family Therapists.  At the moment, it does not, but what happens in the LPC world, is soon followed in the MFT world.  The suggestion of everyone I know....."Get going with licensure, Laura".  My degree was confered in 2006, so I've been waiting for something.  Something to usher in reality!     

All along the way, I'm praying things like "Now Lord?  Why now?  Is this from you?  Or is this a detour?  You know how I love being a mommy."  Later that next week, I have an opportunity to drop by a friend's home to take a baby gift that is over 5 months due!  And yes, they live in a very close neighboring area.  I'm a loser.  Anyhow, when I show up, we begin talking and I'm realizing God has set up this encounter as well.  My friend (from my master's program) is moving home to Oklahoma and needs someone to take over her office lease.  Prime location, sharing an office suite with 2 other counselors I went to school with.  Lovely.  Now I'm saying, "God....are you kidding me?  How can this be?".  So I call the supervisor again and say, "Keep me on your short list....I may be coming in soon.  I've got one more obstacle to climb, then I'll be ready to make a decision."  Within two short days I get a call from a ministry leader saying we need to talk.  The needs within the body of Christ are growing.  "We need you Laura."  My response, "Me?".  Yes...you!  God said it.  I simply said, "Yes, Lord...let them know I am here."    

I'm leaving this meeting telling God all kinds of things.  Like how scared I am.  How I love being a stay at home mom.  How I cannot do this thing without Him.  The difficulties we face when Aaron is out of town.  Oh, the frustrations I've felt over failures I can't even speak out loud.  The sweet voice of Jesus calms and says, "I am here."  "Yes Lord, I see you all around.  This is all far too orchestrated in blessing for me to have concocted this myself.  What are you asking?  What is the plan?"  His response, "The plan is for you to be for the body what I designed."  "Ok, Lord.  But you've got to remove me from the process.  Remind me they don't want to hear from me, they want to hear from you.  So speak...please.  Use me."  

I come home, talk to Aaron.  He sees the same things unfolding.  I make one final call to my supervisor and say, "When can we meet to set this up?"  His response, "Early next week, and oh by the way....I was contemplating not taking anymore supervisees, but I'll agree to see you through this."  My LORD!  What in the world!  Talk about being in the right place at the right time, and under the right influences.  Then a few days later, I go meet with my friend (one of the office suite partners) and she shows me the office.  Wow.  It's real now.  I can see it unfold.  How long have I been blind?  How long did I linger?  

After lunch that day, I knew this was the season.  It doesn't make sense.  Doesn't fit into my plans.  And doesn't seem appealing to have my life "undone" in this way.  My obsessions as a stay-at-home-mom are all falling into view now.  It was an attack.  The enemy had me pinned down into a whirlwind of perfection and self-absorption.  If I'm that easily distracted by messy closets and piles of laundry, no wonder I've felt useless at times.  Two years of my life have been spent in comparison to what I should be getting done, what others seem to accomplish, and how "my life" was teeter-tottering between normal and chaotic!  Rushing from here to there, and everywhere in between.  And I honestly, didn't really have anywhere I had to be!  All choices.  Simple choices.  

The name of the practice is still undecided.  But my heart keeps calling it "Brookstone Counseling Services".  When I think about a brook, I think of quiet, calm, peaceful waters.  The kind that trickle.  Memories kind of do that too.  Don't you think?  And the stones beneath a brook have been worn smooth.  Not all of them are perfect, but smoother for being in the brook, than on the dry ground.  The mental imagery here provides peace to me.  God requires that we "get wet" sometimes.  May I be found dipping my hands into the brook....rescuing a few prize stones. 

Blessings!

Tonight's update indicates Zach's life is still in critical stages, but he is showing some signs of EEG activity!  For a full report, go to www.caringbridge.com search blog:  zacharyweimer

I will be without internet connection for a few days, so please make sure to check in on Zach and continue praying for his recovery and his sweet family.  What an incredible few days they have weathered.  Many of you reading have walked this road with them in prayer.  Please go to the family's web page and leave a word of encouragement for them.

Hey everyone.

There is a website for Zach's progress now.

Please vist www.caringbridge.com and type in zacharyweimer.  This will direct you to his family's website and you can leave comments, or sign up to receive email notifications regarding updates.

Thank you for praying.  Have a blessed day.

Laura